Hope you’re doing great! This week, I went to a conference and slept in my car between sessions because I was so tired, ate lots of Italian food, and went to a sprawling lights show with May.
I also got a chance to Skype with a friend, and we talked about how easy it is to think that no matter what we’re doing in our lives, we should be doing something else.
Know what we mean?
Our culture puts so much pressure on us to live perfect, adventurous, yet peaceful lives, and no matter how hard we try to do all of that, we still think we’re not doing enough. The millions of opportunities we have per day to engage in comparison exacerbates our feeling of inadequacy and pushes us even harder to strive for perfect lives, worthy of envy. We’re bombarded with messages every day about how our lives are supposed to look–so that we get approval and admiration from others.
We work so hard to live a “perfect” life (whatever that is) or we constantly looking at what our friends/acquaintances are doing to see how we measure up. But when we do that, not only do we exhaust our mind and body, we also miss out on the awesome life we could be living right now. We spend so much time trying to achieve some made up social ideal that we lose track of what truly makes us happy. Then we end up doing things or spending time with people who don’t really make us feel fulfilled. Then we become unhappy, resentful, and lost about how to move forward.
I struggle with this every day–and I especially struggled with it after I moved home from school and had no idea what to do next. I know you can relate.
That’s why I created some awesome tips to help you move through moments of comparison and inadequacy about your life choices. I used these pretty much every day of 2015…and still use them today!
Check ’em out:
1. Use the acceptance prayer. This is a classic one, and so, so helpful. Whenever you get a pang of anxiety, FOMO, or inadequacy, say this to yourself and feel a shift: Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.
2. Saturate yourself in books/content about acceptance. Acceptance will set you free and push you forward. Read Radical Acceptance by the amazing Tara Brach. Read these quotes. And this one from my former coach Christine Gutierrez: Life will trick you. You will see certain things not work out and believe that you must certainly be in the wrong place, that you are not where you are supposed to be. But the truth is you are always exactly where you need to be, and your point of power comes from accepting where you are and making conscious choices for where you want to be next. You can’t pressure yourself or make yourself feel bad about where you are, because I promise you it’s perfect and divine. What is the lesson that life is giving you right now, in this moment? Surrender just a bit more and have faith. You are exactly where you need to be.
3. Follow your body’s signals. The next time you engage in an activity or hang out with someone, notice how your body feels. Does your body feel open, light, relaxed, energized? Does it feel contracted, heavy, depleted, tired? Notice what kinds of things, activities, and people make you feel open, and spend more time with them. Your body’s signals will never steer you in the wrong direction.
4. Sleep and drink water. These simple practices will help you listen to your body (see #3) and release the stress that’s building up inside of you because of all of the pressure you’re putting on yourself to live a perfect life. Trust me on this one.
Give these tips a try and let the acceptance and ease set in!