We’ve all been there. We like a guy (or girl), we engage in some exciting and anxiety-producing texting, and then when they don’t respond to one of our texts, we freak out. Just minutes earlier we felt sexy, desirable, and bad-ass, and then all of the sudden–when we don’t get that text or when it comes later than we wanted–we feel like disgusting losers.
And when we’re in that low-energy space, we begin to need that validation from the guy to feel good about ourselves, so we might text him again…which tends to make us feel even more desperate and worse…and we end up pushing the guy away.
Why do we do this to ourselves??
I used to (and still do sometimes) experience these swings in emotion and self-worth a lot around men. But over the years, I’ve learned some useful tools to feel peaceful and beautiful no matter what a guy texts or doesn’t text me.
The BEST TIP for how to handle yourself when a guy doesn’t respond to your text is….
Get right with yourself.
Take your focus off of the guy and put it on yourself. Feeling less worthy or desirable because the guy hasn’t texted yet just means that you have some internal work to do. And that’s great news because that means you no longer have to worry about him (because you can’t control what he thinks/does anyway). All you have to do is focus on improving your own sense of self-worth and feeling great in yourself–no matter what happens with this guy.
Getting right with yourself can look like…
- Viewing your emotional response to the (temporary) lack of text as a Divine lesson. This is a beautiful opportunity for you to improve your self-worth and release your need for external validation. Other people are our greatest teachers in life, and this guy is helping you realize how worthy you are on your own. So, he’s actually doing you a favor.
- Journaling about how the lack of text makes you feel mentally and physically, when you’ve felt this way in the past, and how you may be bringing your past experiences and fears into the present.
- Removing your self-worth from the external world, i.e. whether the guy texts back, the size of your jeans, how much money you have, etc. and placing your self-worth in something internal and unchanging, i.e. your connection to God/Universe, your intuition, your core ESSENCE. Do this by making a list of all the things you love about yourself, what’s unique about you, and what YOU bring to the world. Look at pictures of yourself as a little kid. What would you tell that little girl about her self-worth? Would you tell her that it lies in whether a guy will text her back? Um, no.
- Connecting to your body through movement. Stretch, walk/run, dance, do some yoga. Working out makes you feel hot and more in tune with your intuition, which will help you decide your next step with this guy–from a peaceful, loving space, rather than a frantic, needy one.
- Flirt with/open your eyes to other men. Relax your focus on this guy and realize how many other great men there are in your world. Smile at the hot guy in Starbucks. Give a man (even if it’s your friend or family member) a compliment. Keep track of real-life examples of men treating their girlfriends the way you want to be treated. This will make you feel more abundant in men and ease that desperation you may feel around the one who’s not texting back.
Whew, these are just some of the many ways you can get right with yourself–so that you can return to a loving and peaceful place in yourself, which will energetically draw that guy to you…or draw in other men who are a better match for you
It’s totally okay to text that guy again…as long as you do it from a place of self-love and calm, with no expectation of a response from him (just text him bc you were thinking about him, not bc you want something from him), and with a solid sense of self-worth so that if he doesn’t respond, you still feel fly and desirable.
This is a tricky topic, and I’m still working on it. Use these tips to experience more ease with those boys (or girls or whoever you dig)!