Decisions used to make me (and still do sometimes) so anxious that I would sob, hide under a table (totally true), get nauseous, and feel so scared that I couldn’t get out of bed.
My pattern has been to make a decision, freak out about how that decision will affect my life, and immediately change my mind. I was (and still am a little) a flip-flopper. Making decisions felt like jumping from lily pad to lily pad, trying to survive and find peace.
Here are a few examples of my flip-flopping, anxiety-producing behaviors:
- Breaking up with my boyfriend, freaking out, asking him to get back together, freaking out, then him breaking up with me. It was a sh*t storm.
- Scheduling a job interview (in a city I wanted to move to!), freaking out, then canceling the interview and ruining my chances of ever working at that company.
- Getting a part-time job at Rita’s Italian Ice in high school, freaking out, and quitting.
I’m still working on this. Can you relate?
But I have learned how to make decisions with ease. The way out of this pattern is to recognize that when we make a decision, anxiety will come up. Finding peace and calm around our decisions requires us to just recognize that anxiety, sit with it, and stay with the decision we made instead of immediately choosing the opposite.
Here are some tools to help you feel more peaceful around making decisions:
- Get clear on the thoughts that come up after you make a decision.Do you start to future-trip (like me)? Dwell in the past? Worry about what others will think? Witness your thoughts when you make a decision. Write down what you witness.
- Pray pray pray. Turn to God or whoever you speak to. If you don’t know what decision to make or you’re worried about a decision you made, pray for the highest good. Say, “I pray for the highest good.”
- Trust that you’re being guided no matter what. Trust that when you make a decision, everything will be okay because you’re going to be guided and protected. Say, “Okay, I made this decision and I don’t know if it’s right and I’m worried about it, but I made the decision, so I’m going to be guided.” A former coach taught me that.
- Hang with your anxiety. When your anxious thoughts come up after you make a decision, just let them come up. Take some deep breaths. Do something fun or relaxing. Don’t try to think your way out of the anxiety or back out of the decision because you’re anxious. Just let the anxiety hang out with you until you calm down a bit.
There are so many more tools I want to share with you about feeling peaceful around your decisions. Get on my mailing list for more!